Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

[CornellDes]

I met a camel with no humps, so I named him Humphrey.

How do you kill a circus? You go for the juggler.

Didja hear about the new restaurant on the moon? It's got great food, but no atmosphere.

Remember alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.

I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up but it wouldn't make any difference.

[ColeDubay]

You think those were bad. How about this?
The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient. He's shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head. The doctor's cries, "Oh my god, how did that happen?"
The frog answered "I don't know; it began as a pimple on my butt."

[DanhinyWap]

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Damn! Sh!t! Ouch!


Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

[daleyw16]

Three strings walk into a bar. The first string says confidently, "I've got the first round, boys," and strides up to the bar. Bartender says, "Are you a string?" String says, "Yeah." Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve strings here." String returns to his buddies, red-faced. "Looks like we aren't getting drinks after all, boys."

String #2 steps up and says, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this." He glides up, drops a twenty on the bar and shouts, "Three whiskeys for me and my buddies, friend!" Bartender looks him up and down, takes his twenty, and says, "Are you a string?" String #2 stands there dumbstruck, unable to even form even the simplest of replies. Bartender says, "Listen, pal, like I told your friend over there, we don't serve strings. Now, beat it."

"Well," says String #2 to his buddies, "That's that. It's over. Let's just go."

But just then, String #3 has an idea. He ties himself up in a big knot, frays the ends of himself with his pocketknife, and sidles up to the bar. "I'd like three whiskeys, please." Bartender looks at him and says, "Are you a string?"

"No" he says to the bartender, "I'm a frayed knot."

[DanielWaw]

What did the outlet say to the cord?
Socket to me, baby...

What do you call a running chicken?
Poultry in motion...

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?
Both crews were marooned...