1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He


acquired his size from too much pi.


2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be


an optical Aleutian.


3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a


weapon of math disruption.


5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


10. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the


other, you stay here; I'll go on a head.


13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me..


14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'


15. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When


hi s grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'no change yet.'


16. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


17. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.