Another week of learning about the stock market and moi is kinda, sorta, well, tired of learning and would like to be a Cramer Caller telling him, “Thank you for all the money you’ve made me—booyah!” I think one thing is for certain if the stock market ever gets back good, I sure ought to be one of those callers ‘cause I am ‘bout OD’d on learning ‘bout the negatives of the stock market—it is more “geez” than a “booyah!”

Staying for a while in a fancy hotel for a conference on “Becoming a TV Evangelist…”Fancy” in hotelspeak is based on the price outrageousness of what they charge you to use or to consume or to satisfy one of your sense organs with a service or provision…This hotel is thus fancy, because in case of fire you have to pay $9.95 to exit (You have to swoop your room key-card through the exit lock)…I don’t think I would argue about this charge if there was a fire or a terrorist attack, as I would ‘bout being charged for breaking the seal on a $6 one liter bottle of water to douse on meself in case of Spontaneous Human Combustion, which I have to watch out for these days, since I am studying to become a high income—sorry, strike that—high powered TV evangelist under the tutelage of the most imminent world-renown Video Professor, and failing…I have screamed and gnashed my teeth and smacked the TV screen showing CNBC and still I cannot seem to raise the stock market from dead…It is horrible to be awful now both in the stock and high income—sorry, high powered—TV evangelism markets…

Sad to say, but I, well, cheat…I slip away to a Waffle House—but I remember Master Cramer loves Best of Breed and “branded” products, so I proudly slink off to the nearby WH for some real food with grease, salt, sugar, and caffeine…I think buying Brand is why my Dollar General Disposal Razor is still going strong—booyah! DG’s version of WD-40 keeps its blade sharp and ready—another booyah!

Today, at our final conference we get to buy titles…I am going for “Bishop” I think and may well also buy a “Doctor”…My feeling is if one brand name is good, then obviously two would be better—booyah! I kinda like imagine my first TV show with my title: “And now-w, Bishop Doctor Zyzzyva…” I am thinking I will burst forth screaming, “BOOYAH!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU-U!! BOO-YAH!!” I am thinking viewers of TBN don’t watch “CNBC” and vice-versa…I am thinking “borrowing” booyah in this instance ain’t exactly plagiarism in the strictest sense, which is majordomo big in TV Evangelism, where, because of tax issues, we have to be careful—we don’t like, shall I say, render unto Caesar anything…

Kind Reader, I bless you and leave you with this stock tip: Monday (6/24), from my titanium cathedral that has began with one small chip for man, I shall attempt to raise the stock market from the dead, so if you have faith in your Bishop Doctor of Wall Street, get ready to buy, or if ye is of so little faith, short, but to one and all, booyah!